Sunday, January 20, 2013

Week 36 and Birth Story

[caption id="attachment_614" align="aligncenter" width="225"]36 weeks, 3 days 36 weeks, 3 days[/caption]

Despite my repeated assertions that I believed the twins would need some convincing to come out, there was a part of me that always knew that our trip to the hospital to have the twins would not be planned.   I mean, come on - I am the ultimate planner.  I just knew God was going to look down and surprise us.  And he did.  I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, December 11th and as in previous appointments, everything continued to look good.  Weight estimates were over 6 lbs each and the doctor finally agreed that we should MAYBE set an induction date (halla-lu-yer!) and then asked if Monday, December 17th was good for us.  Nick and I looked at each other and then at the doctor and said 'Sure!'.

My last day at work was supposed to be Thursday, December 13th, so I knew I would have just a few days to continue working on my obsessive ALL THE THINGS THAT MUST BE DONE BEFORE BABIEZ COME list.  I had mostly wrapped up everything at work and because I was feeling completely miserable, was really looking forward to being home for those days.  However, on Wednesday, December 12th - I just felt...horrible.  I was at work and trying to get a ton of stuff done before I left, but I couldn't get comfortable - everything just...hurt.  And my legs and feet were swollen in a way that they had never been during the day.  It was painful to move, painful to walk, painful to sit.  It was the first time throughout the entire pregnancy that I thought to myself that maybe I had pushed it working so long.  I ended up leaving work a little early because I had a few last minute errands to run.  I ended up abandoning most of them and just heading home to take a bath and lie down.  I continued to feel horrible.  It was a different kind of horrible than I had been feeling, though.  I could barely move...Nick brought me dinner in bed and fetched whatever I needed.  I dozed in bed for a little while until I woke up with a start with the realization that my water was breaking.  I raced to the bathroom and then started calling for Nick, who, unfortunately, was in the garage and couldn't hear me.  I was very calm, as I tend to be in these situations and when Nick eventually heard me, I told him my water broke and we needed to go to the hospital, he gleefully ran up the stairs to help me get ready.

While I called labor and delivery to let them know I was on the way, Nick took a quick shower and I started randomly shoving more stuff into the hospital bag. :)  The hospital bag had been about 90% packed but there was a few things I needed so I quickly added those and changed my clothes.  The first hurdle of the evening?  Finding shoes that would fit my feet.  They had swollen up EVEN MORE and now I no longer had any shoes that I could get on.  Flip flops seemed impractical for December so I pulled the shoe strings out of my largest pair of running shoes and stuffed those on.  Nick got the car ready and we were off.  As I surveyed the house in dismay before I left, I couldn't help thinking that it was a shame it was such a wreck.  I did NOT want to bring the babies home to a cluttered, dirty house.   Not that I had any choice at this point.

On the way to the hospital, we called both sets of parents and let them know what was going on, and also texted a few friends and our birth photographer.  I wasn't having contractions so it was a pretty easy ride.   So easy, in fact, that it didn't occur to Nick or I that I should probably be dropped off at the Emergency Room.  Instead, I walked all the way from the parking garage at KU Medical Center to the emergency room.  I am a rockstar.  I calmly explained to the nurses in the ER that we were there to have some babies and then I was instructed to wait.  And so we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Nearly an hour and a half went by before the ER gave up on Labor and Delivery sending someone down to get me so they found someone to take me up in a wheelchair.  While Nick checked in at the security desk, I was taken to triage, changed into a hospital gown, my vitals taken and checked to see how much I was dilated.  Answer: not much.  The resident explained that overnight they would give me a series of oral medications to help soften my cervix and begin the dilation process.

At that point, I was taken to a labor and delivery suite (very posh digs!) and a series of tests began that seemed interminable.  I was quite tired at this point and just wanted to sleep, but because of the constant interruptions and the fact that my legs were swollen to the point of complete and utter pain, I couldn't.  In addition, there were fetal monitors attached to my belly that were constantly slipping off and setting off alarms, so the poor nurses had to spend a lot of time re-positioning.       Nick dozed next to me, but it was a long night.  After two rounds of the oral meds, I was checked again.  One centimeter.   Gah.  The doctor then explained that they would check me once more for progress and then begin a pitocin drip.  There was no progress at the next check either, so at 11:30 am on Thursday, they started me on a pitocin drip and the anesthesiologist came to talk to me about an epidural.  In order for my doctor to consider delivering the twins vaginally (which was an option for me because Baby A was head down and Baby B was transverse), I knew I was going to have an epidural - just in case anything went wrong and they needed to quickly convert to a c-section.  However, it would be up to me to decide when I wanted to get it.   After talking with Nick and the resident ob/gyn, I decided to get the epidural late tin the afternoon.  My fear was that I would progress too quickly (hahahahahahaha) and might have to wait awhile for the epidural.  The former was laughable but the latter ended up being a problem.  At this point, the contractions had begun but were manageable (i.e. I could still talk through them).  However, I was really only feeling them in my lower right abdomen, which a nurse assured me was normal.   Getting the epidural was a piece of cake and since my parents and Nick's parents were both now at the hospital, it was nice to feel semi-normal and just hang out and talk with them.

As the afternoon and early evening progressed, my contractions started coming very quickly.  They want you to have about five per ten minutes and I was having seven to eight every ten minutes - meaning there was very little break.  They weren't horrible - but it was tiring.  The nurses turned the pitocin drip down which helped immensely.  However, I was still feeling the contractions just on my right side...I had spoken with the anesthesiologist several times that afternoon and he had given me additional drugs to help with the pain, but it wasn't doing anything.  At some point, it began to dawn on me that the reason I was feeling them was because the epidural hadn't taken on the right side.  I began to get a bit panicky with some semi irrational fears about having a c-section with only half an epidural.  I spoke with the nurse and she quickly went to get the anesthesiologist back to re-do the epidural, but when she returned to our room - she came bearing bad news.  There was an emergency c-section going on and I would have to wait until it was complete.

Both sets of parents were at the hospital by now and at this point, there was sort of a party going on in the delivery suite.  I had been feeling good and welcomed the distraction and conversation.  However, as my contractions progressed while I waited for the  anesthesiologist to return, I had Nick ask everyone to leave because it was becoming quite difficult to be a good hostess. :)  The next several hours sucked; Nick sat with me while we waited.  Eventually the ansthesiologist returned and although I was scared at the prospect of having the epi re-done while I was laboring more heavily, I was relieved.  Luckily, it ended up being easier than I thought and once complete, I felt So. Much. Better.

Unfortunately, I was still not progressing well.  Twice during the next eight hours, I was checked for progress and TWICE, I was initially told that I was at 6 cm, only to have the doctor and nurse then change their mind and say 4 cm, which is a PRETTY BIG F'ING DIFFERENCE when you've been at the hospital for over 24 hours already.  The second time it happened, I was very upset.  My big fear was that the doctors were going to get nervous about how long it had been since my water broke and start talking c-section.  However, they assured me that as long as my temperature stayed stable (indicating there was no infection) and the babies' stats were okay, we were still okay to proceed with a vaginal delivery.

By Friday morning, I was exhausted...we had been at the hospital for 36 hours with no sleep and I was still at 4cm.  When the resident came into check me that morning, she told me I was still at 4 cm and I nearly started sobbing.  She decided to try stripping my membranes to see if that would speed up my progress...that was at about 8am.  Finally, I started making good progress...the birth photographer was on her way and by the time I started asking in earnest to be checked again (I had a feeling that I was very close...I was feeling a lot of pressure and was deep breathing through each contraction)...I was at 9cm.  Hooray!  The nurses and doctors went to get the operating room ready (I would be delivering in an operating room in case there were any problems and the doctors needed to switch to a c-section...plus, as I later learned, there would be a LOT of people in the room).  My awesome birth photographer, Sarah Maxey, had arrived by this point and had charmed her way into the operating room, which the doctors and nurses had originally told us would not be an option.

Nick and Sarah changed into their scrubs as I continued my deep breathing.  By close to 1pm on Friday, I was starting to feel the urge to push and finally, they wheeled me into the operating room.  The only things I really remember about the operating room were 1) it was very warm and 2) there were a LOT of people in the room...I would say there were easily 25 at any given time...a team for each of the babies...the resident....an attending...my actual ob/gyn...several nurses...several anesthesiologists...medical students, etc.  And people would rotate in and out, too.  I learned later that because vaginal delivery of twins is fairly uncommon, a lot of people were interested in observing (Nick tells me it was so crowded that two separate times, people fell down...I had no idea).  I didn't care, though.  I just wanted the babies OUT.  Right before I started pushing, one of the anesthesiologist asked me if I was feeling contractions to which I replied, yes.  He ended up giving me something to help the pain, which created a huge problem five minutes later when they asked me to push and I couldn't feel a damn thing.   My nurse had to tell me when to push every time I had a contraction and for forty-five minutes, it was utterly fruitless.  By the time, I could feel the contractions, I was exhausted...both from having been in labor, not sleeping for several days and pushing for an hour to no avail.  I pushed for another 45 minutes but it was clear (to me, at least) that this was not going well.

Eventually, the resident that was actually delivering the babies brought up forceps.  I knew that I had been delivered with the assistance of forceps and I turned out just fine :), so I quickly agreed.  From there, things are a bit of a blur, as the forceps/continued laboring were quite painful, but finally at 2:37pm on Friday, December 14th, Jonathan Blakely (Jack) was born at 5 lbs 3 oz (almost a pound less than estimates) and 19 inches long.  It was a huge relief and I almost forgot that um, we weren't quite done.  Ellie was laying transverse (straight across) and the hope was that she would turn head-down after Jack was delivered, however she didn't cooperate, so the resident began attempting a breech delivery, while my ob/gyn pushed very, very hard on my abdomen in an attempt to move Ellie.  The resident was not making any progress, so Dr. Lee pushed her roughly out of the way and delivered Ellie breech...it's about as comfortable as it sounds.   That all took place in the span of four minutes, so at 2:41pm, Elyse Rose was born at 6 lbs 2 oz (right on target) and 19.5 inches long.  They placed her on my abdomen for a moment but she wasn't breathing, so they quickly took her away but I heard her crying just moments later.  After the babies had been weighed and evaluated and swaddled, the doctors started, ahem, working on me (P.S.  nobody tells you that once you are done delivering the baby/ies, YOU ARE NOT DONE AND THE PAIN IS NOT OVER)...and Nick brought each of the babies over to see me.  It was such a relief to be done and know that each baby was fine, but I was completely and utterly exhausted...and I think somewhat in shock.  I remember feeling a little bit out of my body.   Eventually, I was wheeled back to the labor and delivery suite, where my parents were waiting, but I remember telling  Nick that I needed some time to collect myself.  By this point, I was shaking very hard and felt completely weak and out of it.  I apparently didn't look so great, either, as my mother looked sort of horrified when she saw me.

The next several hours are a blur - I know the babies were brought to our room...and the grandparents and Nick watched and helped with first baths, took lots of pictures, etc.  I was pretty much in a daze and had to wait until my shaking died down enough to hold the babies, because I wasn't sure I had the strength to hold them.  Eventually, I was able to hold each baby and this is the point where I am supposed to tell you it was love at first sight, blah blah blah.  But that's not true...not that I didn't love the babies...but in all honestly, all I felt was utter exhaustion.   I was happy that everyone was healthy, but that was about all I could muster.  The next day is when I first felt the overwhelming love for each of the babies.  Nobody really tells you that you might not have the Kodak moment experience after the babies are born...so I'm just stating it for the record in case of any my soon to be first time mom friends experience the same thing. :)

I'm grateful for several things about our birth experience:

1.) Nick - Nick was amazing...a real source of strength for me (even if he did complain a bit too much about the discomfort of the hospital bed, harumph)...and he DID fall immediately in love with the babies and showered them with affection and attention from the moment they entered this world.  He took to fatherhood as the proverbial duck to water...he wasn't awkward with them or worried about hurting them...he just instinctively knew how to be a dad.

2.) Our parents - it was so great to be able to share this with the grandparents (who were all first time grandparents at that!) and they did a lot to help us out during our time in the hospital.  Special thanks to Nick's parents for cleaning up our house for us because as you'll recall, I was not happy about the prospect of bringing home the babies to our cluttered house.  And my parents were operating on almost as little sleep as Nick and I were since they had stayed at the hospital pretty much the entire time.

3.) Sarah Maxey - our amazing birth photographer.  A note about birth photography...first, it's not an, um... 'up close and personal' kind of situation...we just wanted our babies first moments documented.  Since we know (as much as you can know, anyway) that this is the only time I would be giving birth, it made sense.  I get that it's not for everyone, but I am beyond grateful that she was there to take pictures, because I was so exhausted...the photos really help me remember what happened.  It will be an amazing keepsake for Jack and Ellie.

Here's a link to the slide show of the birth: http://www.sarahmaxeyphoto.com/jackandellie/

4.) The staff at KU Med Center - all of our nurses and doctors were so incredible!  My one regret is that we didn't do something to thank them after we were released...but we were a little busy.  :)

5.) All of you!  We have received so much love and support from our friends and family and we are incredibly grateful for it all.

Above all, we are beyond grateful for a healthy pregnancy and delivery and two babies born at 36 weeks 5 days who needed only a few extra days in the hospital.  They are perfect and wonderful and precious and insert every hyperbolic statement about babies you ever heard here.  :)  We are completely in love with them and can't imagine our lives without them.

And now, if you made it through all of this, you deserve a medal!  Or at least a few more pictures from their first week of life. :)

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